New Boyfriend

So....I have a new boyfriend....and it's not what you are thinking...we are in love!  Ha ha ha ha ha....Sorry...it's too funny. 
Yesterday at the event I worked, I met this old man, he had some mental disability, but was so nice and happy.  He kept cheering for everyone and being happy about the game and how much fun everyone is having!  Kept telling me that this game would be great for a party.  So later he came back and visited me again......introduced me to his new friends 'twins' (they weren't twins) and he told them that I am his girlfriend.  It was so funny...then he told me we were gonna get married some day.  It was just so cute that I couldn't help but smile about it. 

Yuck

So it smells in my office today and I have to volunteer with creeperson...so today will not be a good day on the happiness front.  It is gonna be a day full of annoyance and anger....man....if i had just injured myself or something I could have gotten out of this thing today...but no such luck.  Oh well it is a charity thing so its not so bad.

I ate Breton crackers for breakfast today...a little way to cheer me up....get the day started on the positive.  Also there is this guy on my floor at work that i find hot.  He doesn't know I am alive because well I am crazy and when i like someone, i basically ignore them because i don't know how to act.  It is very similar to how i act when i don't like someone...so it is very hard to tell the difference.  Anyways...the reason i am telling you this, I rode up in the elevator with him for work.  He at least knows now that I work on his floor.  It's a start.

Fighting

Happiness for me seems to be a battle.  Up than down, happy than sad.  It gets really frustrating.  Things are going great for me in school right now, I am doing really well, I got 100% in my first quiz and 85% on my first writing assignment.  This is a personal best for me....I don't know if you can tell but writing isn't my strong suit.  Me and the english language fight a lot....if i can't think of a word that suits what i want to say, i make it up.  So to get 85% on a writing assignment....it makes my day.
So how can i be so happy about school and be so frustrated and disappointed by work so much?  It is like i am two-face and my two sides are fighting.

But i guess the path to happiness is never smooth sailing.  Although, I wouldn't mind being happy for a little while.

Although...i am trying really hard to look at this like an opportunity.  An opportunity to change my life.  Take the things that make me sad or unhappy and change them.

So i am asking myself some important questions:
What do I want to do?
If i could be anything what would I be?
What makes me happy?

Figure those things out and I will have an idea of what i want to do with my life.

Another Halloween

And no costume.

I love Halloween, i like the idea of dressing up and being someone else for the night.  Playing pretend has always been fun.  I also really enjoy the excuse to sew and design my own costumes.  But I haven't dressed up or made any costumes the last couple of years and I would love to change that.  But where to wear the costume....the clubs are not the place for me....most girls use Halloween as the excuse to wear underwear out in public as an outfit....throw a cape or a pair of wings..and you have an instant slut costume.

We need to take back Halloween from the sluts.  What i really wish was that i was still young enough to trick or treat.  I love candy...I am at the maturity level of a kid...and I love dressing up.  I would fit in perfect with all the other kids trick or treating.

This year I want to be Rainbow Bright.  The last costume I wore was Strawberry Shortcake.  I want to go through the heroes of my child hood.  I would also love to be Wonder Women or maybe Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  Although if i ever dressed up as Buffy...i would want a Spike. 

Anyways, if anyone has any ideas of how to take back Halloween, let me know.

Things That Made me Happy This Weekend

1. Nana - I love Nana, she is so crazy and funny....seriously love her...even if she is inappropriately handsy.
2. How happy Alex was....she sparkled with happiness even without the help of all her sparkles.  I mean, the wedding thing not for me...even if I meet the right guy, I don't think i would ever want to do a big ceremony with all the fanciness...i would elope and then throw a big party afterwards....a dance to celebrate.  But no matter how I feel about weddings, it is clear to see that this is right for Alex, and I can't wait to help her celebrate her big day!
3. Andrea relaxed without her kids and had fun. 
4. Hanging out with Steph and Andrea....it has been awhile since just the three of us had some time to talk
5. Staying with Paul and Judy.  I miss them.  I use to see them a lot more when Leah was in Toronto.  I also miss Leah being in Toronto.  Sometimes I think about moving to Kingston.....but I really love Toronto too.
6. Drunk Amy! 
7. Brunch at Chez Piggy
8. Finding a place to stay at the wedding...so I won't have to pay to stay in a hotel!!  Plus it's at Paul and Judy's - Double Bonus!
9. There was no car fire!

We now return to regularly scheduled posts

Sorry about yesterday everyone....i know i promised a glee test.  But I had to work.  And now...i don't remember any of my questions.  So all i am gonna say about glee is I love Britney S. Pears.  She is my favourite character.  I still can't stand Mr. Shue.  And i am don't like tribute episodes because they don't at all advance the plot or offer character development.  If it wasn't for Glee Britney...the episode would have sucked....she made me laugh so much, and she is a fricking amazing dancer.

On another note...Friday i became obsessed with two-fingered rings.  I wanted one that was a giant bow or something fun.  During my search...i found a website called Mod Cloth......best website ever.  They have a great combination of funky new stuff and amazing vintage stuff.  I ordered myself two rings, new headphones, and a yellow sundress on major sale.  So happy because i have wanted a yellow sundress since that episode of Glee, you know the one i am talking about.  Anyways...i got home from school yesterday and everything was already here!!!!! So now i am wearing my new toast ring and a two-fingered lighting bolt ring...i think the yellow sundress will be perfect to wear to a bridal shower this weekend...and the head phones....they will never be allowed near my cats..ever!!!

Hit me baby one more time

So....Glee is all about Britney tonight which excites me.  Britney on Glee is one of my favourite characters and old school Britney spears...can't go wrong.  The only problem with tribute episodes is they tend to get so bogged down with them music that very little plot or character development happens...and as much as i love glee, i want more plot..the characters are so awesome they need more screen time.  I will do a glee quiz again tomorrow and try to come up with some good questions...i am thinking a few multiple choice questions and maybe an essay about what glee means to you and how this episode added to that love, or took away...depending on your feelings.

On a side note....I am looking for fun new ways to wear my long hair....when i wear it down it is all over the place and always in my face...drives me crazy.  I was thinking of trying to add braids into the hair somehow...but braids are not my strong suit.  Yesterday...i did a bun, i felt it was okay but i think it needs to be more messy and loose, not so tight.  And then i watched a tutorial on french braiding...again, looks cool but i don't have the hang of it.  SO i am taking hair suggestions...there are only so many times you can do hair down, pony tail, butterfly clip.  I need something fun, fresh and new.  Also, if your style suggestion involves bobby pins, you will have to help me master them.  I am not good with hair...i have had short hair for a million years...i never needed to use any of these things.

TV Marathons

What is it about a TV marathon that just perks me right up?  Who knows but I was feeling kind of down that i was missing out on a girls night out Saturday night because I was babysitting max and daisy.  They needed some love because mom and dad are off on another globe trotting adventure.  So until they get back i have agreed to stay at their place every Saturday....well except next Saturday but i am headed to the k-town.  Which reminds me, I have been put in charge of finding us a place to stay. 
Back on topic....Friday night, while lying in bed...tired but being unable to sleep.  I was channel surfing and came upon a Buffy episode from season 7.  At the end of the episode, spike was still being held captive by the first and Buffy got her butt kicked by this uber vampire.  I couldn't just leave it like that....so I pulled out my season 7 DVD box set and put in the next episode.  After that episode...i was finally able to sleep.  But the next morning...i had to keep watching.  Buffy vs The First, with souled spike.  How could i even think of not watching the rest of the season.  So i brought the season to mom and dad's.  And after playing with my adorable puppy/nephew & copy cat/niece....i settled down to spend the evening knitting and watching Buffy.  It was a great evening.  I really enjoyed myself and although i am sad i missed out on Toronto Alex time....i can't be disappointed about spending my evening with two things I love - Buffy and crafts.

Travelling

So, I have been thinking more and more about going back to Ireland and backpacking through Europe.  I have money saved up..although that's for my down payment when I am ready for a house...but realistically, I am not gonna be able to afford a house for a very long time, and I am not getting any younger. 
I have never been one to march the conventional path.  I wish i was....my life would probably be so much easier.  And who knows, maybe one day I will be ready to settle down and get married and have kids.  But that idea right now scares me because of all the things I would love to do but I am too afraid of breaking out of my comfortable situation. 
I would love to start my own business, i would love to sew and design all day long.  I love making and designing clothes...but I have never believed that i would be a good designer because I don't have that thing...that makes me take risks and live on the edge.  I am always afraid to go into material stores in the fashion district because i don't want them to judge me.
Here's the question of the day....why am I so worried about other people's judgements?  Why do I always feel the need to justify my life decisions?  Why am I so afraid to jump and take a risk?

Okay people...my THP assignment for the weekend.  Do one thing that scares me.  I think I am gonna go to the fashion district and buy some stuff to make and design my dress for Alex and Matt's wedding...it is either that or wear my prom dress.

And the Winner is....

It was a close race between Andrea and Amy.  But Andrea wins.  Sorry Amy you were so close...but the new gym teacher has won 5 football championships before joining McKinley High school.  Although, you have a great point about Sue ending the bathroom duet.  It's true....the best kind of duet is one that breaks out in the bathroom. 

Andrea for your prize you can choose door #1 or door #2.

I am so excited that I had two whole players for the contest....maybe i will do it again next week and have more questions.  Then we can have the Andrea Amy grudge match!!!  Plus Jess will be back by then and then we will have 3 players.

As for Santana's breasts....i did not think they looked bigger at all. Although I am looking forward to a Quinn/Santana all out battle for cheerio's supremacy!

Glee Wrap up

So, Season 2, first episode.  What did everyone think.  I liked a few things and did not enjoy others but I was glad that they seemed to be going back to the old format that worked....Mainly plot and singing thrown in for fun.
I enjoy the new characters, both have great voices but not impressed with their lack of gumption to join glee.  Also, really enjoyed that they are now a family and stick by each other.  Also really laughed that a petition has been started to stop Mr. Shue from rapping!  Favourite line, and really enjoyed his surprise.
What I didn't enjoy,
Rachel....I didn't like any of her story line, from the duet in the bathroom to the lack of acceptance.  Although she probably has major trust issues since Jesse smashed that egg on her head.
Also, I just don't like Mr. Shue as a person, he is so wishy washy, joining with sue to be mean then feeling bad about it when someone makes him feel guilty.  I mean come on....he does the same thing everytime he has a story line, makes the wrong choice...someone makes him feel guilty then he gets the 'awww shucks, I'm sorry' act on. 

Now for the Quiz, ( Are you ready Andrea....probably the only one doing the quiz)
1. What was the best song of the night?  (I know a subjective question but still, if you don't pick my favourite song, you get the question wrong)
2. How many songs were sung?
3. How do you spell the new gym teacher's name, and how many state championships has she won
4. What did Sue lose from her Cheerios's budget?
5. Did you actually think Santana's breasts looked bigger at all?
6. Tina's new relationship - Good or Bad?
7. Do you believe Rachel did it because she wanted to protect the new directions team or her spotlight time?

On a final note....the episode was good, but it wasn't gold star material.  I would say a solid B episode.

Glee-tastic

Today....season 2 of Glee starts.  I can't wait.  You know how I love musicals.  They are my happy place.  If I had one super power, it would be mind control so i could make everyone sing and dance. 

Happy Happy! 

In fact...now that I have an office, maybe I will shut my door and sing along to my ipod...although...the wall I have is made of glass so everyone can see me.  So, not the best plan for someone that has just claimed to be a grown up.   Maybe grown up was too strong a word.  Maybe I should go with....young at heart.  Although that is what they say about old people who don't act their age.  And I wouldn't call myself old.  Hmmm...okay here's what I am gonna call myself, A grown up with teenage preferences, a GUTP.  No that doesn't really work.  I am gonna have to think on that.

Anyways...GLEE TONIGHT.   Watch it, there will be a test tomorrow.  And a prize will be awarded.

Don't be nervous

So I have a job interview today, it is a great job, with job security and opportunity for growth.  I know I will be great at this job, I just need to convince the three people interviewing me today. 
Here's the plan, I have read over all types of interview questions, rehearshed answers to behavioral questions, prepared a few questions based on the job description and company research.  I will de-lint my cat fur covered clothes, I know exactly where I am going.....I will be ready!

This is the job I am gonna get, this is the job I am gonna love!

I just have to be positive and confident.  And remember it isn't cocky to talk yourself up and it is just selling yourself as the best candidate for the job!

Project Life

So, In support of improvement for all and happy and healthy friends and family.  I announce to you the newest blog for finding the right job to make you wake up in the morning and cheer.  The kind of job that you were born to do. 
Everyone please support Steph on her journey to career happiness.

http://www.careerhappiness.blogspot.com/

I helped......I think?

So, when I was younger, I use to be very compassionate and I would help anyone who asked.  I remember this one time, Saturday morning....a Green Peace guy came to the door, I was young, i don't remember how young but I was the only one up.  So when I answered the door, he started talking to me and telling me about all the trouble in the world and how we have to do something to help....i gave him all my change in my piggy bank.  It wasn't a lot.  I have never been a good saver....it was mostly pennies and nickels but he seemed really moved by the gesture.  Then mom came down and yelled at him for taking advantage of a young impressionable kid.  Anyways....I had a point buried somewhere in there.  Somewhere along the way...i stopped believing that people needed help that the had to help themselves.  Which I think is crazy.  Yesterday with my new found believe that I am incredibly privileged to have what I have....I was approached by a very nice homeless man who just wanted food.  I didn't want to give him money because...well i didn't have any.  I never carry money any more..and it's a non-pay week.  But I did have some sour keys in my purse...so i told him, i don't have any money but i have some sour keys if you want them...it's not very healthy but they are yours if you would like.
So off my new homeless man friend went off with sour keys for dinner. 
I can't decide, did i help? or did the homeless man just humour me?
Who knows...but i felt happy....you know that general happiness feeling you get when you are in a good mood.  I haven't felt that in awhile. 

Freedom

It is a concept that we take for granted every day.  Free to wear what we want, free to think and feel what we feel, free to have our own personality and opinions.  Free it is such a small word but such a big concept.  I learned last night that to this day some people still are taken and sold into slavery. 
I saw a movie called I am Slave and it was a movie based on the life of a girl taken from her home in the Nuba mountians, her village was raided and many people were killed...all the children taken and sold into slavery.  The movie is a dramatic retelling of her true life story, she was a slave from the time she was 12 until she was 18 and was sent to work for her owner's cousin in London.  There she escaped and gained her freedom.  She was there to talk after the film and to hear her talk about her experiences and her life makes me feel like i have spent the last 30 years of my life complaining and taking for granted the basic freedoms I have. 
The actress playing Malia, Wunmi Mosaku, said it best herself, she was moved by the story and felt that she had to play this part to bring light to this very overlooked issue but at the same time she felt guilty that she is benefiting from Malia's pain. 
I have all this freedom and privilege and I have never used it to help someone less fortunate than me.  I spend all my time moaning about how i am unhappy and i am not satisfied when people out there have no freedom at all.
Today's happiness project is to stop being so focused on myself and give happiness to someone who needs it more than me. 

The Way

This movie was one of the most moving touching movies I have ever seen at the film festival.  I knew it was gonna be sad, but it had humour and sadness mixed together.
It was about a father who loses his son, he had an accident during his first day of The Camino de Santiago, a spiritual walk from St Jean Pied de Port in France and to Santiago de Compostela (Spain) about 780km later.
Martin Sheen plays the father (Tom) and he goes to St. Jean Pied de Port to pick up his son's body to bring him home.  Instead he decided to have his son cremated and walk the Camino himself to finish his son's final journey.  I don't really have words to say anything about this movie except that....it made me, a person searching for the answers and searching for happiness want to take this 780km walk.  Most of you who know me...know i am not a walker or a person who likes to rough it or am I very spiritual.  But I think this journey is not just about religion but about finding yourself and testing yourself.  I am actually putting this on my list of things i want to do.  I now want to walk the Camino and experience it for myself!

Little Things

My name is Erin and I am a Sunglasses-a-holic.  There I said it...and the first step towards recovery is admitting you have a problem.  But you know what...i don't think it is a problem.  There are few material things in this world that change you.  But for me....a hot pair of sunglasses, gives me confidence and happiness.  I don't know if I can really explain it.  But have you ever had something, some piece of clothing or certain outfit or pair of shoes that just made you feel so confident? That is what it is like with me and sunglasses.  A new pair of sunglasses can cheer me up and make my day.
On Saturday, i got my birthday present from Will and Jess.  4 pairs of sunglasses....and a gift card from chapters.  The two things I love most in the world...books and sunglasses.  Nothing can be better than that!

So today...i am feeling yucky and kind of down due to a sore throat and cold.  So i brought my favourite pair of new sunglasses with me.  Even though it is not sunny out at all today...just putting them on perks me up.

Sometimes it is the little things that make the difference in a day!

The Beginning

So there were many things that i did that made me happy this weekend, I forced myself to go out when i would have rather stayed home and had a great time.  I have realised something else this weekend as well, I spend a lot of time on my own...and i always tell myself it is because i like my independence but i think a part of me is afraid....afraid to get attached or to get rejected.  Afraid to make a connection or learn that I don't fit.  But what I really need to work on, what I need to do to be happy....is love myself as who i am....which i do for the most part...but confidence...within social situations....that is what i need.  I need confidence.  I am getting much better.  I mean, I am a million times more confident now than i was a year ago..but it is still a struggle for me, every day to remind myself to actually believe in myself.

Monday, I had a great conversation with two of my now favourite people, it was all about people who have problems and how you help them and how much you can help them if they won't help themselves.  I had someone who was very close to me...and his disease has changed him.  But at the same time, people fight the disease he has every day...but he chooses to fight it with alcohol and drugs. But that isn't what i wanted to talk to.
I wanted to talk more about recognizing who you are...positive and negative.  The whole picture.  I have always prided myself on knowing exactly who i am....but i don't think i do.  I don't accept my gifts...i always down play them or explain them away.  When at the same time, I magnify my negative qualities and i never believe in myself.
Why do I not believe in myself?  Why can I support my friends in anything they do and believe in them 100% but can never believe that I can achieve the same things.  Why do I feel that I am not worthy?

It is a question I have been asking myself for awhile now...and you know what...I need to change my beliefs.  I start school tomorrow.  I signed up because I want to better myself and get a better job.  But I am looking at this as the start.  The beginning!

Day 11

Fail.   I didn't really do anything for happiness today, i worked and i went to boot camp.  It was a good day, but just a regular day, no ups no downs...just status quo.

Day 10

Okay....this was by far my favourite moment of the day.  I met up with Amy after work yesterday to give her the 2nd and 3rd book in the hunger games.  We decided to grab street meat and find a nice place to sit outside.  It is very windy where we were sitting and after we finished eating, Amy's garbage blows away...and she runs after it.  Seeing her chase a Styrofoam container just about made my day.  I could not stop laughing at her running around and around in circles.  It was like the container was mocking her....she would be ready to just give up and then it would stop moving so she would go after it again...and then it would blow away as soon as she got close.
It doesn't sound as funny written down like this.  But trust me....watching her being flustered and running in circles, made me laugh so hard...i just about cried.

I love hanging out with people who have the ability to make me smile and laugh over the smallest things.

Day 9

So yesterday, I read something that just made my day.  Lainey, from my gossip blog loves J.K. Rowlings and yesterday she attached a link to the commencement speech she made to the 2008 Harvard Graduates.  She is one of the most amazing people ever.  Her speech was insightful, touching, and completely honest.  She talked about not being afraid of failure, embracing the opportunity. 

You should all read it:

http://harvardmagazine.com/commencement/the-fringe-benefits-failure-the-importance-imagination

It will really inspire you.

Day 8

Day 8 was a pretty plain boring day.  Work rushed by but nothing exciting happened, my apartment was like a sauna due to the heat.  So I was starting to think my happiest part of the day was the cold shower I took after a 6km run.  It was a nice shower, refreshing and cool.  But then I found Pineapple Express on the movie network.  I was like oh, I guess I can watch this for a bit...then go lie in bed with my air conditioner on and all the lights out to cool down.  But then I got into it....seriously funny movie.  Made me laugh so much that at one point I was taking a sip of water and I spit it out. 
It just made my night and really my day.  To be able to sit back and enjoy a funny stupid movie on a day so hot your brain melts.

Day 6 & 7

This was a great weekend for THP.  I went to centre island with Amy on Saturday and we had a picnic on the beach and then spent the afternoon lying on the beach tanning and relaxing.  I was so impressed with this beach....I can't believe that i have never been to this beach before, it is so close for me and it is a beautiful beach.  I have managed to get a little bit of a tan....not that anyone would really notice because my tan is other people's skin tone in the middle of winter....pasty and white.
I am so happy about spending Saturday on the beach.  It was one of my favourite days of summer.

Then on Sunday I went to my parent's house to help them finalize their film festival picks...and take advantage of another nice day in the sun.  Seriously...the sun this weekend was insane.  And I took every opportunity to get a tan! 

Sun is suppose to make you happy right because you are getting like vitamin d or whatever.  Well I must say the sun and the relaxation, worked wonders for me.  I am giving myself an A+ for THP this weekend.

Sometimes all you need is sun!

Day 5

So day 5 continues the obsessive reading of the hunger games series.  I bought book two and I am more than half way through. 
Don't you love when a book just sucks you in and you get so attached to the characters and what is happening.  I mean...i went on wikipedia and read the plot for each book already...but reading the actual book....it just transports me to a different place.  It keeps me interested!

I haven't bought book three yet because i know as soon as i do...i will not stop reading until i am finished everything...and i really really need to get through my tiff picks

Day 4

Now....this THP made me happy....but I am paying for it today. 

Ever since the whole twilight incident I have become very hesitant about young adult fiction.  I normally love any book as long as it's a good story but young adult is just as good and the books are usually cheaper so that is like an extra bonus.  A long time ago I bought a book about vampires and I got all excited because well I am crazy and love vampires.  But after reading this book i was so disappointed, the characters had no substance or soul....they were cardboard.   But then all this craziness happens about the twilight series and how great it is and i decided all YA's are crazy and although cheaper they are not worth it.
But this gossip blog i read and love, Lainey Gossip, also loves young adult when done correctly.  So she recommended this series called "The Hunger Games".  I saw it at Cole's on sale for 9.99, so i thought i should give it a chance.  While yesterday I started.....AND....finished the book.  I loved it, it was well written and interesting.  I was up until 1:30 finishing it.  I just had to finish it, i couldn't stop...although i am crazy tired and exhausted today.  I am dying to go to Cole's and buy the 2nd and 3rd instalments.

It is surprising sometimes how much something small like reading a book can make your day.

So...THP day 4 - successful, and each day I am feeling happier than before.  I know there will be back sliding moments.  But it is a lifetime battle to be happy...but this is one battle I am going to win!

Day 3

So...Day 3 was a good day.

I had the day off from work and it was tiff pick up day.  So me and my mom decided that we would make a day of it.  So she came to my apartment and we went to the gym and worked out.  Not always fun but it is good for the body to get in shape.  Then off we went to pick up the TIFF stuff and then...BRUNCH.  and you know how i feel about brunch...favourite meal of the day. 
Then the rest of the afternoon we had a pool party at my parent's house with Farrah, Andrea and the kids.  it was fun and relaxing.  And i even got a tan.....well not a tan a burn...but it will turn into a tan.  And getting a tan is one of my goals of the summer.

Day 3 was a successful day

Day 2

There are few people that fully understand me.  One of those people is my best friend Will.  Life gets away from us sometimes and we don't get to see each other as much as we would like.  So Monday night we went for tea and caught up.  It was a great second day to THP because I am starting it off with the two people that know me better than anyone else and who i know will always be in my corner - Andrea and Will. 

Catching up and talking with Will really made my night and picked me right up.

Day two down, and still a lifetime left!

Day One

Yesterday the Jersey Boys performed their last performance on the Toronto Arts Centre Stage.  I went last summer and had the greatest time.  The music is fun and happy and makes you want to sing-a-long.  My older sister loves this show so much.  So we decided that we needed to see the last performance ever.  She has a bucket list and seeing a show on closing night was one of them.

So off we go to have dinner and enjoy the show.  And enjoy it we did.  The energy was so much different than the last time I saw it.  Everyone in the audience, on stage, and in the band knew that this was the last performance ever and everyone was reved up.  The songs were sung with more heart and energy than ever before, the crowd cheered and clapped at a level that bordered on rowdy.  And I laughed and sung the songs and enjoyed the show.  It is a great start to THP. 

I was able to enjoy myself a lot and seeing how happy and how much fun Andrea had....added to my enjoyment.  I was taken back to when we use to go to film festival together.  That was one of my favourite things to share with her.  She has this excitement that is contagious and when she is happy...how can you not be happy too.

One day down.  A lifetime to go. 

About Me and my Project

So, my name is Erin and I am absolutely miserable.  I wasn't always.  I mean, I have never been satisfied with my job but not in the sense that it is a horrible job and I hate it, it's not horrible and I don't hate it.  My work has been very good to me and I have made wonderful friends and I am proud of my work...But I feel like I am missing something.  Like there is something out there for me, I am not fulfilling my true purpose. 
I took a risk last year and accepted a one year maternity leave contract and they didn't hold my old job.  I knew it was a risk but I felt that I needed the change, something new and exciting.  And it was a great change but the end of the contract is in less than a month and the girl is coming back.  So I will be out of a job.  I have been getting quite depressed at the fact that I am 30 and I feel like I have no direction or career.  Then there is the thing that put me right over the top from depressed to miserable.  My sister and her husband and me had this huge and horrible fight over the stupidest issue.  It wasn't good....hurt feelings all around....I went from talking to my sister and the rest of my family everyday to talking to no one at all.  It wasn't because I was mad at all of them...I just didn't want to drag my other family into the drama, they love both of us and it is not fair to put them in the middle.  I also wanted some time to figure things out on my own.
Somehow...I have wandered off and lost my happiness.  I use to be a very happy person and now I have become angry and bitter about things.  I am despondent about life and I don't know how I lost my happy.
So a small idea popped into my head.  What if I did one thing everyday to make me happy.  What if I spent time on me.  It is easy to say these things but to follow through...sometimes impossible.  So what if I create something that forces me to follow through.  Thus the Happiness Project was born....THP from now on.